Diary of a Swine Flu Victim (Day 2)

Day 2:

I woke up to another normal day, not knowing that this one was far different and deadly—much more deadly. I read the newspaper as I drank my morning coffee to see this horrifying headline: “Swine Flue Kills First Victim” The story went on to tell the tragic story of a 104-year old Mexican man of poor health who was on his deathbed and happened to catch the swine flu. He had died late last night. Causes of death were yet undetermined, but I knew the truth just like the rest of the world. It was the swine flu.

In panic at this stunning turn of events, I turned on the news. I couldn’t believe my eyes at what I saw. Riot police flooded the streets of Mexico City, wild flu-ridden pigs swarmed the streets, spreading their deadly disease, Mexicans young and old ran screaming in terror beneath their dust masks. It was total anarchy. "We're live from Mexico City where we are witnessing the end of the world. The first victim of the swine flu succumbed to its deadly killing powers last night and more are on their way. The only question this reporter has is: is there any hope for the race of men? For GNN news, I'm Chip Perkins."

I switched off the news and realized it was probably in my best interests to stay away from Mexico so I called up my travel agent and cancelled my weekend trip to Acapulco. Satisfied that I had ensured my long life and vitality I picked up my briefcase and headed for work.

Diary of a Swine Flu Victim or (Dead Man Walking)

Diary of a Swine Flu Victim or (Dead Man Walking)

Note: This obviously fictitious diary is not meant to trivialize those that have died from swine fu, (still much less than those that die from regular flu) nor is it meant to be taken seriously. If you are offended by this blatantly satirical portrayal of a fictitious person then you need to get a better sense of humor and/or a life. Thank you.

Day 1:

I turned on the news before bed as I normally do and was greeted with a shocking sight. Thousands of Mexicans were coughing and sneezing, some were even nauseous! It was something I had never seen before, I found myself asking who was responsible for this horrible sickness. The answer was soon to follow:

“We’re reporting live from Mexico where the most horrible pandemic of our time has tragically…..struck tragedy—swine flu.” The smile on the handsome reporter’s face turned grim, “Thousands will die because well, this is something new. Where did this start you ask? It all began on a small Mexican pig farm where one small pig caught the regular flu. It wasn’t long before that pig started sneezing and he sneezed on the farmer. The farmer then became infected with….swine flu! Just like regular flu you say? Well you’re wrong! Through a serious of events far too complex and scientific for me to explain or even understand, this flu just got way deadlier. Stay tuned to this channel for around the clock coverage of this—the Armageddon of our time.”

I turned off the TV and went to bed. No big deal, at least it was only in Mexico. It’ll never reach us; we have the safest borders in the world.